The Moon Is Made of This

Josh: This is my wife. She makes crackers -- that you can eat!
Friend: I prefer the kind you can't eat, myself.


I've heard that money can't buy love, but I've found that it can buy all the ingredients for homemade crackers. And homemade crackers absolutely buy love. I've bought so much love recently that I had to donate some to Goodwill. Maybe it's because people appreciate the effort. Maybe it's because crackers are the kind of thing nobody thinks you can make. Maybe it's because homemade crackers are delicious.

I roll my crackers out and cut them into shapes. I started to do this because it made for fun photographs for my blog, but now I do it because I have mutiny on my hands if I don't. Square crackers, kicking puppies, what's the difference?

But anyway, half the fun of making your own crackers is the variety of options you have at your disposal when you do. Not just shapes, but flavors. I can make cheddar crackers with my eyes closed -- what about blue cheese?

My first attempt was boring.

Ally: This is boring.
Josh: Yeah.
Ally: Maybe they'd be okay with, I don't know, some kind of kicky spice or something...
Josh: Kicky Spice? Is that who replaced Sporty Spice?


You know what tastes really good with blue cheese crackers? Buffalo wing sauce. It's like a match made in -- wait for it -- the heavens.


Man in The Moon Crackers

1/2 cup butter or margarine
2 cups blue cheese crumbles
2 cups whole wheat pastry flour, plus extra for dusting
1 tsp salt
roughly 3/8 cup buffalo wing sauce

*Mix all ingredients together in a mixing bowl until thoroughly blended.

*Knead the dough until it becomes smooth. Let the dough rest for 10 minutes.

*Now's a good time to preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

*Roll the dough out, on a floured surface, to desired thickness. This dough is on the stickier side, so be sure to add sufficient flour to keep the crackers from sticking to the surface or the rolling pin.

*Bake on a foil lined cookie sheet for about 20 minutes. Watch these carefully, because they will burn very quickly. The thicker they are, the longer they take to crisp.

*Let cool for about 10 minutes before serving.